there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
