My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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