lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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