It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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