Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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