So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is her dick bigger than yours?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
