I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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