We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
