i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
