ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
