Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
