so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
