Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize