Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize