Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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