i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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