so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize