i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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