do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize