It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
