...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
