I'm jealous of your bromance
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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