life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
