It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
