I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize