If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
