so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
