fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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