i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
