a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
COCAINE IS GR8
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
