I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
