Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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