1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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