Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
