I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
