i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
