I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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