If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
