would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I currently don't understand fingers.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize