dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
