Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize