wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Your cock deserves a montage
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need to sanitize my soul.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
