dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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