This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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