I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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