ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
