3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
