Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
