So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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