Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
