Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
