idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
