I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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