Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
