I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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