Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
