Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
