Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She bit a glass in half.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
