do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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